The Power of Connection During a Crisis

By Janelle Williams Melendrez & Jeffrey S Bucholtz

There is a strangeness to this moment. There is a vacancy created by our separation and a unity in our shared experience. There is pain and perseverance. But there is something else. Something that this moment has revealed. Like many other equity and inclusion consultants around the world, our work at (R)EVOLVE Consulting has always been about creating belonging — a sense of feeling connected, safe, and valued. We connect people because when we have belonging, we thrive. When we don’t, when we isolate, our worldview can quickly narrow to the point where we begin to make assumptions, judge, and disrespect others. This unintentional process can cause all kinds of problems, from a lack of productivity and teamwork, to violence and abuse. It is this difference between when we do and don’t have belonging, between more connection and safety or more isolation and harm, that has been exposed during this pandemic. The good news is that this moment has made our opportunity to invest in belonging clear. We can begin now. We must begin now.

By investing in belonging now, we can prevent the type of separation that drives us toward our “corners” — towards familiar habits that leave us feeling comfortable and/or safe. Unfortunately, discrimination and systems of inequity are a large part of our reality. This is plainly visible in the disproportionate negative health outcomes for Black and Brown people during the COVID-19 crisis. These differences in health outcomes are not the result of COVID-19; rather, these pre-existing disparities have always been part of our culture. These disparities have been seen by those living them, while being largely invisible to those who do not because what has soaked in, or become normalized, is the illusion that we have a healthcare system that works the same for us all. Inside a culture where we, through no choice of our own, marinate in such inequities, it is almost inevitable that too often we will turn towards stereotypes, negative judgements, and a lack of empathy. This helps explain the omnipresence of bias and discrimination evidenced by numerous current examples of anti-Asian sentiment, assertions that the elderly are disposable, and the disproportionate (and unresolved) economic impact on financially vulnerable families/individuals.

The irony is that in a society so highly dependent on social interaction, when we are told to isolate as a means to protect ourselves and others, we long for that connection even more. Yet to establish a connection amidst deepening and deadly inequities is difficult, if not impossible. It is up to us to leverage this moment to think differently, to prepare for our reunification and rebuilding. Why come back to a world where belonging was an afterthought? Why come back to a culture where inequity was so baked in, that we couldn’t even see it until a pandemic laid it bare for us? Instead, we should be asking, how can we establish an environment that centers belonging, and is on overdrive when we reunite? We don’t have to wait until we return to our “normal” workspaces, we can be doing all of this right now. And our point is, we need to be.

This is the time to double our efforts and realize that creating belonging is, in fact, an essential investment. We think of belonging like a garden. First, we set up the garden by tilling the soil, putting up protections, installing irrigation, and learning about the needs of garden plants, etc. This represents inclusion. After all, inclusion comes from us prioritizing the needs of all community members — of all the plants — and doing our best to protect and nourish them. Next, is intentionally selecting a variety of plants that contribute to the overall garden, which represents diversity. Diversity is critical to problem-solving, innovation, and the overall vibrance and health of the garden. Finally, placing the plants in the appropriate areas of the garden so they can thrive (full sun, partial shade, etc.) represents equity. Equity creates the conditions for everyone to be afforded the opportunities to succeed, for us to plant seeds where all of them are able to flourish. When we bring all of these elements together, we are able to create a thriving garden, full of belonging.

However, it is critical that when we re-think about belonging and its importance in establishing thriving workspaces, we think about it not as some miraculous, magical phenomenon that happens when the stars align, but rather, as an intentional space created by a variety of investments. Our intention is to rework our collective relationship to belonging. Belonging is not something we possess or something we can just “have” — it requires action. It is something we do! Belonging is defined as a noun, but we have started to think about it as a verb: kind of like, belonging-ing.

Belonging-ing is the action of creating and maintaining a sense of belonging for all folks in our communities. We recognize that “belonging-ing” feels clunky on the tongue, especially since we are not following the grammatical rules of formal education. However, in this moment, we need to be innovative and reimagine how we want to be without the confines of the preexisting norms, values, and systems that were set up to define us. We are in a moment of redefinition, so why not start with belonging-ing?

Belonging-ing is:

1. Recognizing inclusion as essential, and with as much vigor and commitment as possible to prioritize leadership and teamwork models designed to support this critical workplace effort.
2. Creating inclusive conditions just as much for others as we do for ourselves. This means considering other people’s circumstances, how they are different from our own, how we can help others feel part of the larger community, how we create safety for others, and how we can make choices to leverage our surpluses (i.e. privileges) to create space for others.
3. Including discussions about, and ongoing self-reflection of unintentional bias, and what we refer to as auto-populating (i.e. when we fill-in the blanks about someone in such a way that leads us to make assumptions about them). It also encompasses making choices to disrupt systems and practices that set up unhealthy or unsafe conditions for others.

Belonging-ing is the necessary maintenance that keeps the garden flourishing day after day. It is definitely difficult when resources are scarce and times are uncertain (though it is at those times when such investments are most meaningful). But if we can remember it as an investment that can come in a plethora of small, manageable actions, we can rebuild our workspaces and communities in ways that fill our lives with support and connection. Our belonging-ing can allow us to cultivate the ingredients we need to be resilient (and oh my, do we need that!).

Belonging is truly possible when we recognize it as a series of ongoing investments (belonging-ing), made by all of us, which include us thinking about our own predispositions to what it means for someone to “fit in,” feel safe, or be part of any community. Belonging-ing will help to create:

• increased institutional effectiveness
• expanded equitable practices
• shared innovation
• increased collaborations
• more broad and diverse contributions
• regular micro-affirmations
• enhanced individual and group productivity
• improved employee morale
• enhanced stress management
• a stronger sense of group cohesion
• expanded empathy and compassion for our colleagues and clients

It is also valuable to note that belonging-ing disrupts systems of inequity that produce workplace bullying, sexual harassment, discrimination, conflict, and workplace stressors that lead to employee absenteeism, turnover, and potential workplace threats.

At this point, it is important for us to address how we implement the habits/practices of belonging-ing. What we will share here is by no means a complete list (visit (R)EVOLVE CONSULTING for a more detailed list). Instead, this is an overview of a few relatively simple steps that could be taken by any organization. The first step is to assess. This may sound obvious, but it is critical. For example, ask questions (anonymously) about your organization’s spoken and practiced values (i.e., “What is a spoken value in our organization about gender equity?”). Questions like these can help organizations determine where there are gaps between policy and practice, thus giving clarity about what types of investments need to be made. In our work with a corporate hospitality client, we conducted an assessment that allowed us to determine their spoken values were deeply tied into their desire to be a more inclusive organization for their clients and employees. This made designing interventions smooth, and group buy-in nearly seamless.

Another example would be to review policies, procedures, marketing materials, and internal documents in order replace gender binary terms such as “he”, “him”, “her”, and “she” with more inclusive terms such as “the client/student/employee,” “they/them/their,” and “person/people.” One final example would be to invest in the implementation of Release ValveTM sessions, which are simple structures designed to operate inside departments and offices to facilitate folks sharing the unique pressures they are under in a variety of easy and creative ways. With simple investments like these, we can start to build belonging within our communities.

Over the years, we have cultivated gardens within corporate workspaces, higher education, law enforcement, hospitals, community organizations, and middle/high schools. In all of these environments, there is one constant — building and maintaining a garden requires us all to evolve. That is part of what our business name (R)EVOLVE represents: the courage it takes to change, to grow. And for us to grow, we have to revolve — to repeatedly, and from different perspectives, consider what investments are needed for our gardens. If we invest in what all the plants in the garden need to be healthy, and keep the other plants around them healthy and safe, we can all benefit from the spoils of belonging-ing.

At this moment, we have a powerful opportunity to build the garden we all need to thrive. We must understand, in this distanced reality, that our circumstance depends on that of others, and theirs on ours. We must understand how we care for ourselves and others impacts how we evolve as a society. We must see clearly, that our choices impact our neighbors near and far. This is nothing new, brilliant minds have been expressing this idea for decades.

• “I am my brother’s keeper” (Moses 5:34)
• “As human beings we are linked, not ranked” (Gloria Steinem)
• “The other is ourself” (Deepak Chopra)
• “We rise or fall together, as one nation, and as one people” (President Barack Obama)
• “Tú eres mi otro yo. You are my other me.” (In Lak’Ech — Luís Valdez, Mayan-inspired)
• “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.)
• “You need me (need me); And I need you (don’t you know?); Without each other; There ain’t nothing neither can do” (Aretha Franklin)

In other words, WE ARE ALL CONNECTED! And when we decide to see that truth not solely as an observation, but as a call to action, we will find our path to thriving, productive and equitable workplaces. We will find our path to belonging.

For more information on how to implement belonging(-ing) in your workspaces, please visit us at (R)EVOLVE Consulting

Stay tuned for our next article, “The Theft of Belonging.”

Janelle Williams Melendrez and Jeffrey S Bucholtz are co-founders and presidents of (R)EVOLVE Consulting, Inc., an equity, and inclusion business that centers belonging as a strategy to build cohesive and empowered schools, workspaces, and communities. (R)EVOLVE provides the foundations needed to improve cross-cultural communication and create truly inclusive environments through in-person and virtual interactive workshops, trainings, keynotes, off-the-shelf curriculum, customized curriculum design, consultation, and strategic planning.